


I've Finally Found You

by Vee (DrknessDaughter)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Marauders' Era, Multi, Non-Canon Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-30
Updated: 2017-07-23
Packaged: 2018-05-10 12:22:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5585206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrknessDaughter/pseuds/Vee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Violet has loved Sirius for as long as she can remember, and when she finally catches his attention, she does everything she possibly can to make him love her the way she loves him, but maybe he wasn't really who she was looking for in the first place... (inspired by a fic that featured Lily cheating on James with Sirius and the resulting anger created this)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One

Violet most definitely wasn't the most popular, or the prettiest, or smartest girl at Hogwarts, but she did have one thing that no other girl at Hogwarts had. She had Sirius Black.

Violet had always been one of those shyer girls, always in the background, never drawing unneeded attention to herself (Merlin knows why she was sorted into Gryffindor...).

She didn't feel the need to be like the rest of Sirius's fan girls, squealing and shrieking whenever he was within a 10 foot radius. True, she did categorize herself with the rest of them. She had always been head over heels in love with him even if she hadn't realized it herself. But who wasn't just a tiny bit in love with Sirius anyway?

Violet supposed that's why her confidence levels had been slightly higher than usual lately. The fact that Sirius Black, the most desirable guy in Hogwarts, liked her did wonders for her morale. At first, she hadn't been all too sure Sirius wasn't just elaborately pranking her. He had brought James with him after all.

James Potter was the one person in Hogwarts that Violet truly valued. He had always treated her like something precious, starting from the day they had met four years before. As she had said before, Violet wasn't one of those fearless girls who could put themselves out there and make innumerable friends at the drop of a hat. In fact, Violet predicted that even if she tried to make new friends, she would be met with blank looks and nervous laughter.

So, of course, James's friendship was something Violet found extremely valuable. James had also been the only one to know of Violet's early infatuation with Sirius. James had found it deeply amusing that Sirius had actually taken the time in their third year to coach Violet through her Potions final, and had sat with them in the library many a day, just so he could smirk at Violet whenever Sirius wasn't looking.

Violet didn't really understand why Sirius had offered to help her, but of course she wasn't about to turn him down. There were many days that Violet, James, Sirius, and Remus Lupin would sit in the library with Madam Pince breathing down their necks, just doing homework (Violet), and goofing off (the boys), as if they had been best friends forever.

But then for a while, things had changed for the worse.

James and Violet had eventually become inseparable. They did virtually everything together, and Sirius frequently joked about it if he ever caught one of them without the other. Through their third year and well into their fourth, Violet was happy. She had four amazing best friends who genuinely cared about her. For the first time, Violet didn't feel like the new girl. She felt wanted and loved.

Cue start of second term in their fourth year, and everything started changing.

James, Sirius, and Remus came back from Christmas holiday, miraculously taller, more filled out, and positively bursting with testosterone. At first, it didn't seem like much of a problem. Remus was blushing more whenever she spoke to him, and James and Sirius seemed fonder of flirting with anything in a skirt instead of spending time with her. It didn't really bother Violet; they were only boys after all.

Then James really started pulling away. When before he would clear his schedule just to take a walk with her by the lake or to sneak down to the kitchens for a snack, now he would make silly excuses or postpone whatever they had planned. And it hurt.

Sadly, Violet was one to take everyone at face value. If they were nice to her, they were good people. If they treated her badly, she would forever look upon them with extreme caution. James was one of the people Violet had found herself instantly trusting. She believed he was truly a good person, who really cared about her, not that anyone else seemed to give a damn about what she ever thought.

So the fact that the one person in all of Hogwarts that she would trust with her life, was abandoning her like everyone else had done in the past, put her over the edge.

At first, Violet couldn't figure out why she was left alone more and more frequently throughout the day. Remus would usually mumble something about studying in the library. Sirius would usually wink at her and walk away, leaving Violet too breathless to voice her confusion. And James... James would just rub the back of his neck, grin sheepishly, and make some excuse about meeting someone or having a tutoring session.

For a while, it didn't occur to Violet that it was highly unlikely James would turn down a trip down to the lake or to the kitchens for a tutoring session, but later on she blamed it on her blind faith in him. James wouldn't lie to her... would he?

Turns out, he would.

About a month into the term, when James had told Violet that he would be in the library, she had decided to go down there and surprise him as he left. She was in for a rude surprise.

Lily Evans was not a person Violet would describe kindly. In fact, no relatively good words came to mind when Violet thought of Lily. You see, Lily Evans had taken it upon herself since their first day to make Violet's life a living hell in any way possible. Part of the reason Violet had wished everyday for the first 2 and half years of her time at Hogwarts that she hadn't gotten her letter was Lily Evans.

Lily seemed to take joy in constantly reminding Violet that she had no friends and that no one particularly liked her. Biting comments were made about her every physical aspect, followed up by the sneering laughter of anyone in the vicinity. Violet wasn't quite sure why Lily couldn't stand her, let alone all the people who laughed at her snide remarks.

It was everything every small child dreaded when they had to go to a new school where they knew no one. Walking to classes alone, eating lunch alone, trying to make yourself as unnoticeable as possible, crying yourself to sleep, or worse, not being able to sleep at all, all in the middle of hundreds of other happy people who didn't care one whit about your feelings. It was quite possibly the worst feelings in the world.

And it was all because of Lily Evans.

It had been a couple months into her third year, just after her thirteenth birthday, when Violet had run from another bout of Lily Evan's torture to cry behind one of the back shelves in the library, that she had met James. She had recognized him of course, famous James Potter, the boy all the girls in her dormitory squealed about at night. Where Sirius had a sort of dangerous hotness, James was the adorable and sweet one. With his messy hair, sharp nose, and circular glasses that couldn't seem to stay up, Violet couldn't help but agree.

But the one thing she hadn't heard from Lily Evans and her friends was the kindness James Potter contained. She definitely hadn't expected him to talk to her, let alone offer to help her with her homework, or to insist she eat dinner with him and his friends in the Great Hall, in front of everybody.

She convinced herself it was alright to doubt him for the first couple days. After all, what could James Potter and his friends possibly want from her? Then Violet discovered Sirius Black was included in this friendship with James thing, and Violet immediately hopped aboard. She supposed she should have felt bad, but she couldn't quite manage to. At least for the first few weeks.

The first time James defended Violet against Marlene McKinnon, Violet was sold. She took people at face value after all. That had been the kindest thing anyone had ever done for her. Violet could never imagine forgetting that. It was the start of something much bigger after all. Miraculously, day after day, the daily Lily Evans attacks slowed and dwindled to a complete stop.

Violet discovered the one thing that made her life a million times better. The Marauders were like a security blanket. Sure, she couldn't depend on them for everything, but with them around, maybe she could finally learn how to properly defend herself. She could become a new person. She had the Marauders for best friends after all.

Then this had to happen. James evening tutoring sessions turned out to be James, Sirius, Lily, and the rest of Lily's "friends", all sitting together at a table in the library and acting as if they had been best friends for years. True, Violet had some inkling of James's love for the red-headed devil, but she had no idea it was of this caliber.

Thinking back on it, she supposed James's reasoning for not telling her was pretty genius. There was no way she would have ever suspected what he was doing. It was just too improbable. Well, at least that's what she had thought until she had stumbled onto that painfully cozy scene.

Violet hadn't been sure whether James hadn't been telling her about his endeavors because he didn't want her feelings hurt that he was hanging around with Violet's worst nightmare, or if he simply didn't care and just didn't want to explain himself to her.

Just to add to the sting, she couldn't believe Sirius was there too. Sure, she had grown accustomed to Sirius staying out late at night, out of the Common Room past curfew. She had heard all the rumors too, those whispers of all the girls Sirius was secretly meeting in dark corners and broom-closets. She just couldn't believe that Sirius, now one of her best friends, would abandon her for people like Emmeline Vance and Marlene McKinnon.

James must have known it would hurt her feelings. To the point of tears, even. He wouldn't do such a thing without a really good reason, right?

Wrong.

Turned out, James's love for Lily won out in the end. More and more, Violet found herself being left alone in the Common Room, in the Great Hall, even the library, where Remus was frequently found. It felt like her first year all over again.

She was alone again.

The next year and a half passed slowly and painfully. Violet had tried her hardest at first, not quite believing that the friends that she loved so much would drop her so quickly, but it was all for nothing. She found herself being stood up, brushed off, or even worse, ignored, more frequently as the year went on.

Attacks from Lily and her friends popped back into existence, intensifying as Lily seemed to get more confident that there would be no retaliation from the Marauders. At first, Violet gained a little hope from the feeble attempts from Sirius and Remus at defending her, but her hopes were crushed when she noticed how James would avoid any eye contact during one of Lily's attacks. He made no sign he even noticed what was going on.

That was what made Violet give up trying. If her best friend in the whole world, the one who showered her with generosity and caring, suddenly decided she wasn't worth it anymore, it must have been true, right? There really must have been something wrong with her to begin with, and James was now realizing it.

Violet spent many of her nights on an armchair in the corner of the Common Room, waiting until she was sure Lily and the others would be asleep, before going up and trying her best to fall asleep without crying.

Truthfully, it was pathetic, but Violet, now having experienced what she had thought was true friendship, didn't know what else to do with her life anymore.

It was now wake up extra early to avoid Lily's taunting and the Marauders, eat breakfast at record speeds, get to class early and sit right up in the front of the class where she knew none of them would sit, leave as soon as the bell rang, and do the same thing in all of her other classes, skip lunch to do homework in the library and stay there till dinner, where Violet would eat as fast as she could then escape to the Common Room. It was there she would wait to go to bed.

It was with that schedule that she managed to avoid most difficulties, and keep mostly to herself. But it was due to the lack of friends and people to talk to, that Violet was slowly falling apart.

Then, halfway through Violet's sixth year, things took a highly unexpected turn.

Professor Flitwick, who was under the impression that Violet was extremely gifted in Charms, assigned her a tutoree. As luck, or not luck depending on how you looked at it, would have it, Violet's new student was none other than the notorious Sirius Black.

At first, Violet was too shy to talk to him about things not strictly related to the Charms topic in hand. It was much too hard to look at him, and not think about the times they had had together.

But Sirius seemed to have no such inhibitions, and treated her as he had back when they had once been the best of friends. He seemed to find it easy to initiate physical contact with her and even easier to flirt with her until her cheeks were inflamed to the point of burning.

Her massive love for Sirius hadn't disappeared in the slightest, and this only made things harder. Over the years, Sirius had developed quite the reputation, and Violet was definitely aware of it. She could never be sure whether he was treating her the way he was because he wanted to, or if this was how he treated anything with a skirt.

Things were cleared up a few weeks after, when Sirius caught her trying to escape from the Great Hall during dinner, and towed her back to a relatively clear spot at the long Gryffindor table. He had slid into a seat before motioning for Violet to take the seat right beside him.

Blushing, she accepted, not sure whether this was some elaborate prank or whether he actually wanted to sit with her. Sirius looked at her for a moment, before loudly declaring he wanted to take her to Hogsmeade this weekend, and did she accept?

Mouth gaping most unattractively, Violet could only stare back at Sirius in surprise. She didn't know whether or not to be excited, since it wasn't exactly groundbreaking news that Sirius had been out with almost every girl in the school already.

Oh, who was she kidding? She was ecstatic! This was the one thing she had been waiting for since she had turned thirteen, and there she was, acting like a complete and total spaz. Sirius was probably already starting to change his mind already.

Just as Violet was about to chance a look in Sirius's direction to attempt (and probably fail) to accept his offer in a dignified manner; her gaze was stolen by a very familiar pair of wide hazel eyes. A pair of eyes that were, in that moment, filled with a sort of combination of laughter and something else that looked like he was daring her to say yes.

Of all people to witness the moment Violet had been waiting for, of course it had to be James Potter. In that moment, Violet flushed an angry red and prepared to look down at her hands and turn down Sirius. Somewhere in her mind, she convinced herself that James would never approve of the outing, seeing as he cared nothing for her anymore.

Then something in his eyes changed. Or rather, Violet saw the look in his eyes differently. For a brief moment, Violet saw the old James. The James that would put off anything to spend time with her. The James that would stay up with her all night when she insisted on staying up late to finish her homework. The James that had saved her so many years ago when she had somehow become everyone's personal punching bag.

It was then Violet realized there was no point in turning down Sirius's once in a lifetime offer just because she thought James would disapprove. If anything, the fact that Sirius was once more paying attention to her like he used to, would cause James to revert back to his usual warmth around her, and once more treat her like a friend.

It was the least she could hope for.

Without realizing, Violet had been staring back at James, almost defiantly, forgetting that Sirius was still sitting beside her, waiting for her answer. It took more than a few nudges from Sirius's elbow to bring Violet back from her internal thoughts, and she returned to reality with the blush on her face only darkening.

She ripped her gaze from James's, attempting to ignore the arrogant smirk that had made its way onto his face, and focused her gaze the best she could on Sirius. Sirius gave her an expectant look, but the only face in Violet's mind, even though her eyes were on Sirius, was James's. The small smirk she'd had to tear her eyes from was flashing through her mind, angering her more by the second.

Sure she wanted James to take her back as a friend, but who did he think he was to stand there like that, giving her that smirk she knew so well, as if nothing had changed since he had found her crying in the library? He had no right to act as if he was a major part of the situation at hand! He had no part in it whatsoever!

So it was with the characteristic fiery rage of a Gryffindor, which strangely rarely showed up in Violet despite the fact that Gryffindor was the only house the Sorting Hat had ever considered for her, she lifted her chin, squared her shoulders, looked Sirius in the eye, and declared that she would love to accompany him to Hogsmeade.

Sirius, looking pleased, reached an arm around her and pulled her closer towards him, while simultaneously reaching for a dinner plate and the nearest plate of food. Violet, however, surprised herself by not making a complete bumbling fool of herself, and returned her eyes to James.

To Violet's immense disappointment, James did not look as upset as she thought he would. In fact, he looked quite happy, smug even. The smirk on his face only grew when he saw her looking at him, and to her horror, he began making his way towards them.

Violet's mind began buzzing out of control. What was she supposed to do? What was she supposed to say? She hadn't spoken to him in so long, so how was she supposed to act around him? How were you supposed to act around the person who had been your best friend? A best friend that had betrayed and used you in the worst way possible?

It was thoughts like these that filled and polluted Violet's mind as James drew closer and closer to her and Sirius. At least until Sirius happened to notice James out of the corner of his eye and raised an arm to gesture him over.

There was no point, Violet thought moodily at Sirius. The moment he saw me with you, I was dead meat. If it was even humanly possible, James's grin only grew larger as he drew closer to see the obvious panic in Violet's eyes.

The arm Sirius had raised had not only caught the attention of James, but the attention of several girls that were sitting not too far away. Almost instantly, they caught wind of the sudden closeness of her and Sirius. With an internal groan, Violet forced her head away, trying not to think about the way the girls' heads had suddenly drawn close together and how they had began intently whispering to one another, sneaking glances down the table at Sirius and Violet.

Violet guessed she would have about 2 hours of peace before everyone in the entire school knew about Sirius's latest fling.

In the time it had taken Violet to look over at the gossiping girls, and then glance back at Sirius, James had appeared right beside her. He merely stood there, looking down at her, with an odd half-smile on his otherwise impassive face. Violet looked back up at him, wondering what he was waiting for, until Sirius's arm around her loosened, then slipped away completely.

James's eyes tracked the movement, and then rose back up to Violet's. Behind her, Sirius began chuckling. "Stop being such a snob, Prongs, and just sit the hell down!" When James hesitated, Violet mustered all her reserves of courage, reached over, grasped the black cloth of James's sleeve, and pulled him down onto the seat beside hers.

Almost instantly, the familiar hopeful grin was back on his face, his eyes shining towards her. One look into them was enough for her to see the heartbreaking apology and forgive him. Violet patted his hand, which was resting on the table beside her, and slid a goblet of pumpkin juice towards him. James's grin stretched even further, and he threw his arms around Violet, pushing her into Sirius, who in turn also wrapped his arms, as best as he could, around the two of them.

From in between two of her best friends, Violet was finally content again. She had her old friends, her old life back. Nothing could possibly go wrong now.


	2. Two

There was only one thing Violet had ever considered doing when she graduated from Hogwarts: to be a Healer. It never really mattered what kind of Healer, as long as she could save people from the same misery she had gone through when she was younger.

When Violet was twelve years old, going into her second year at Hogwarts, her mother had been bitten by some sort of magical creature that had been running free at platform 9 ¾ . Her father had told her in one of his letters that he had found some sort of odd bite marks on her mother's leg, but when they had gone to the doctor, no one could figure out what it was or where it had come from. It never occurred to Violet that it could have been something magical.

Four months after the bite, and four months into Violet's second torturous year at Hogwarts, she received a frantic letter from her father informing her that her mother was deathly ill. The mysterious bite wound that the doctors had previously passed off as no big deal, had gradually turned a sickly green and spread throughout her entire leg, making it almost impossible for her mother to move her leg at all.

When it started leaking a mixture of clear fluid and blood, her father panicked and rushed her mother to the nearest hospital. The doctors, no matter how much they researched and looked for cures, they could not get past the first barrier of what the wound had come from in the first place. Soon, the wound paralyzed her mother's entire body, and she was bedridden.

The doctors informed Violet's father, regretfully, that after two months of research on the subject, they could not find a cure for her mother. There was nothing they could do for her any longer. Thankfully enough, her mother was allowed to stay in the hospital so she could be stabilized for as long as possible, since she could no longer move around on her own.

A month after the doctors gave up all hope, Violet's mother passed away.

A letter had been delivered to Violet, by Dumbledore personally, at breakfast a few days after the event. The moment Dumbledore came to a stop behind her, Violet leapt to her feet, her face flushing a deep red. What could the Headmaster possibly want with her? Had she done something wrong?

Instead, Dumbledore had reached into the pocket of his robes, pulled out the plain white envelope that did not look like the characteristic letters her father had always sent her. Who else would be sending her letters? Letters that Professor Dumbledore had to deliver to her?

Violet reached out a trembling hand and slowly pulled the letter from his grasp, and looked down at it doubtfully. Her name was written on the back in unfamiliar script, but to her horror there was a return address which named the hospital her mother was staying at. Violet looked quickly back up at Dumbledore, searching for what she was not really sure.

Instead of using words, Dumbledore placed one large gentle hand on Violet's head, and smoothed her hair down; reminding her of the similar gesture her mother had performed on her many times in the past. It was by far the kindest thing someone had done for her in her past two years at Hogwarts, and Violet felt the familiar stinging in her eyes, indicating she was dangerously close to releasing a few tears.

Something about the look on Dumbledore's face warned her of the impending contents of the letter, and it took everything Violet had to stick a finger underneath the flap of the envelope and jerk it open. Taking a deep breath, and focusing on the comforting weight of Dumbledore's hand on her shoulder, Violet reached into the envelope and pulled out the neatly written letter addressed to a Miss Violet Merdicis.

She quickly scanned the content of the letter, trying not to give into the almost irresistible urge to crumple up the letter and drop it into the nearest jug of pumpkin juice. In her opinion, she came to the words, we regret to inform you of this tragic event, much too quickly. How could they throw those words around so casually? Had they known her mother as well as she had?

Did they really know the meaning of tragic, especially in situations like that? Violet did not know the definition of tragic any longer. Tragic was definitely not the word she could use to describe the death of her mother.

She barely remembered Dumbledore bending down to look her in the eye, his own eyes a bright blue behind his half moon glasses, looking at her with the most caring anyone had ever given her in her two years at Hogwarts.

She barely remembered impulsively throwing her arms around Dumbledore's neck, burying her face into his neck, and inhaling his surprising scent of peppermint.

She barely remembered Dumbledore gently lifting her smaller-than-average twelve year old body into his arms, and carrying her out of the Great Hall, away from all the curious eyes and frantic whispers.

And she most definitely did not remember seeing Sirius Black following Dumbledore, at a distance, all the way up to the Hospital Wing with a very odd look on his face.

There was only one thing, however, in Violet's way to instant acceptance into Healer training. One thing that could jeopardize Violet's dream forever. Something that she tried her hardest to fix, tried her hardest to excel at like she did at most every other subject, but just couldn't manage to get a hang of.

Potions.

The supposedly most complex form of magic had been a deadly foe of Violet's even from her earliest times at Hogwarts. It had taken the intensive, and unexpected, coaching from Sirius to barely get her through her third year, and the combined efforts of him and Remus most years after that.

No matter how much she practiced and practiced on her own time, Violet could not seem to get a hang of the bloody subject. It had taken many, many long nights in the two years she had been without her friends to barely scrape through her assignments and exams. It seemed like it would be something she would struggle with for the rest of her life. She had never come across something so frustrating in her entire academic career.

Unfortunately, stellar Potions grades were necessary to accepted into the Healing program, as well as in Transfiguration, Charms, Herbology, and Defense Against the Dark Arts in her N.E.W.T. year. None of her other subjects were proving to be a problem, even though she hadn't entered those subjects as a N.E.W.T. student yet, but Professor McGonagall assured her she would do just fine at the rate she was going.

Her Potions abilities, however, would need to be drastically improved.

So when Professor Flitwick assigned her as a tutor for Sirius, she attempted to gather enough courage to ask him if he could tutor her in Potions in return like they used to. Things became much easier, however, when she all of a sudden got all of her friends back after Sirius's proposal, and asking him for lessons was a piece of cake.

Soon enough, Sirius and Violet were well known as a couple, and Violet's position with the Marauders was fully restored, and everything was back to how it had been. Violet had been a bit apprehensive at first, not sure whether or not they were going to drop her again, but she realized if that was going to happen, she might as well enjoy the company she was getting at the moment.

Taking full advantage of Sirius's Potions abilities, she scheduled their hour long tutoring sessions, at first, three times a week after dinner, half an hour for each of them to learn their respective subjects. Then as time went on and Sirius and Violet quickly got much much closer, Sirius requested they meet every day after dinner.

And who was Violet to turn him down? Sirius Black wanted to spend more time with her, and that only meant more opportunities to make him like her even more. Sirius was, surprisingly, being quite the gentleman around her, and hadn't even shown one suspicious sign he was still hooking up with random girls in broom closets across the school, which was highly unlike him.

But Violet in all her euphoria, took it all for granted, and believed the best of him. They were best friends after all. Why did Sirius not cheating on her have to mean something was up? It could simply mean he cared for her and wanted to treat her right. And that was how Violet reassured herself every time any girl threw herself all over Sirius, and he didn't seem to push them off quick enough. She wasn't the jealous girlfriend type, you see.

It was a month into her seventh year, however, that everything once more went horribly wrong.

Violet had left Sirius in the Great Hall after dinner, telling him that she would meet him in the library since she had forgotten some of her school things on her bed. Sirius leaned down, placed a soft kiss on her lips, and winked at her, informing her he approved of the arrangement. Behind Violet, James let out a teasing whistle, just like every other time Sirius showed any affection towards Violet in public.

She turned to roll her eyes at him, but paused when she saw his offered arm. She felt her eyebrows rise slightly, and James just grabbed her arm, pulling her away from Sirius, towards the Entrance Hall. "Come along, Violet dearest. I shall escort you back to your room, since I'm sure Sirius would like to make sure his sweet sugarplum arrives safely in the library for him." His voice was just loud enough to carry back to Sirius, and looking back, Violet saw him roll his eyes at his best mate's goofiness and blow a kiss in her direction.

Violet felt her cheeks heat up and she pulled her arm from James's. "Why do you always do that? You know I don't like being teased in front of him." James only smirked down at her, grabbing her arm once more, this time in a considerable stronger grasp. "Come on, Vi. You two have been dating for more than six months now. That's the longest relationship Padfoot has ever been in! Do you really think he's going to think anything of you if I tease you?"

Violet only gave him a scathing look that communicated just what she thought he would think about James's teasing. James chuckled quietly. "Of course, you're the same innocent little girl I found in the library, still so insecure about yourself. Maybe you don't get it."

Violet stayed silent as they began climbing up the second floor staircase. Maybe she was bit insecure, but that was only because it was Sirius Black! He was the most handsome, most charming, most desirable wizard at Hogwarts, and yet he was choosing to stick with her. She thought it could be well justified that she could be a little unsure of herself at times.

"Sirius really likes you, Vi. Trust me on that, he really does. He's always bringing you up in conversation, and believe it or not, I'm starting to get a little sick of hearing your name!" Violet shot him a glare which made James raise his hands in surrender, a wry smile crossing his face. "I'm just kidding, relax. But come on, you can't tell me you're still as shy with him as you were when you first met?"

One sideways glance at Violet's red face was enough for James to snort loudly. "Well, I take it back then. You are just as awkward around him as you were four years ago. Pity really, I'm sure you two could get up to some real exciting stuff if you were a more enthusiastic participant in your relationship." Suppressing an urge to groan, Violet rolled her eyes. She had learned long ago that trying to defend yourself against James's teasing was a lost cause.

By the time they had reached the portrait of the Fat Lady, James had gotten in quite a bit more self satisfactory teasing, and somehow managed to convince the Fat Lady to not open unless Violet told three people who passed by that she loved James Potter's abs very much. In the end, it took more than forty-five minutes for Violet and James to finally grab all of Violet's stuff and make their way down to the library.

As they passed through the large oaken doors leading into the library, Violet began frantically patting down her hair. Well, as well as she could without James seeing, so he would not be granted another opportunity to tease her mercilessly for another twenty minutes. Violet had no such luck however, and James noticed her panic almost immediately. Grinning widely, he pulled Violet's hand off of her head, and proceeded to rub Violet's hair in precisely the opposite direction she had been rubbing it before, quite thoroughly making it look like she had run through the Whomping Willow to get there.

Shooting James dark glares as they walked, Violet and James made their way to the table farthest back in the library. In the beginning, Violet hadn't been very comfortable studying in the very back of the library, since that was rumored to be a sort of lovers spot, where many couples escaped to have some real alone time. It was surprisingly hard to find a completely private spot in Hogwarts, despite the numerous hallways and classrooms. The table in the library was by far the worst, since it was long since proclaimed as Sirius Black's and Sirius Black's only.

Only a choice few knew the dark and dangerous secrets of the forbidden table in the very back of the library. Not many were invited to venture back there into the shadowy recesses of the back corner of the library, and even less were invited back for a repeat of whatever transpired the first time. It was well known, however, the sort of girls that were usually invited back there.

Accordingly, in the early stages of Violet and Sirius's relationship, she was given many questioning looks, and there were even some awkward confrontations from those who were a bit bolder. It wasn't a huge surprise to Violet when she was warned of Sirius many times by the nicer girls that had had their hearts broken by him in the past. Violet was grateful for the advice, and was overjoyed that other people seemed to care about her feelings for once, but she was still immersed in the afterglow of Sirius's first kiss.

So naturally, after hearing all the advice, some well-meaning and some not so much, Violet was a bit hesitant when Sirius proposed moving their study sessions to his "special place" in the library. Sirius seemed to sense her nervousness, and demonstrating surprisingly angelic qualities, swore up and down that he wouldn't touch her, let alone try to kiss her unless Violet specifically expressed her desire for him to. Violet, quite impressed by his little speech that had left her blushing to the roots of her hair, assured him that it would be fine to move back there and she didn't mind if he kissed her. That was accompanied by quite a fair bit of blushing and stuttering as well.

It was this that led to Violet learning all the deep, dark secrets of snogging, due to the alarming amount she was taking part in. She didn't mind though. If it was Sirius, then it was well worth it. She had waited for him for a good four years after all. That was surely enough time to consider yourself in love with someone.

Yes, Violet was well sure that she was unconditionally in love with Sirius by this point, and she was almost sure she was ready for him to know about it. She wasn't sure how she expected, let alone wanted, him to act, but she did know that she would be completely okay if he wasn't comfortable saying those words back to her just yet. She was well aware that love was a taboo topic for Sirius Black. One that usually made him ditch the girl the next day, even if the word was barely mentioned.

The problem wasn't that she was afraid of how Sirius would react. No, she wholly believed that whatever happened, he would at least be kind about it. She was terrified about actually managing to tell him how she felt. There was nothing she was more scared of than telling Sirius Black that she loved him. She was afraid it would make her seem like all the girls in Hogwarts that loved him for his obviously stunning looks. Sirius got an average of 40 confessions a day, and he had told Violet before that as much as they made him feel good, there was such a thing as too much.

Violet just didn't want him to think that she was like all those other girls. This was something so much different and she knew it. She was sure that no other girl in Hogwarts knew Sirius like she did. And more than anything, she wanted to prove that to him.

James led Violet deeper into the library, trying his hardest to stifle his laughter, while watching her out of the corner of his eye. In the most innocent way, James wanted to let Violet know that he thought she was beautiful. There was no point, though. She would never take him seriously. She would probably just blush and tell him to shut up. She really hadn't changed a bit since he had first met her. There was just no convincing her that there wasn't anything more she needed to do to make Sirius like her. James could tell Sirius really cared for her.

Like most others, James had been a little surprised when Sirius and Violet stayed together for more than a week, but he supposed he should have expected nothing less. The same day Sirius had invited Violet to Hogsmeade with him, James had cornered him in the common room, demanding to know Sirius's intentions. After so long of not talking to her, James was admittedly a bit suspicious about the real reasons Sirius had made a move on Violet now.

James knew for a fact that Sirius knew about Violet's feelings for him. Sirius had, in fact, questioned him about it a while before, somewhere right around the time Flitwick had paired him up with Violet for tutoring. James hadn't been quite sure what to tell Sirius, seeing as he himself wasn't on best terms with Violet, let alone whether she would ever want Sirius to know how she felt. James hadn't felt quite comfortable giving Sirius this particular information so he managed to somehow shrug it off without lying to Sirius's face. That was one of the first moments that James found himself not completely trusting his best friend.

Unknown to most, James was a huge enthusiast of the idea of Violet and Sirius getting together. As much as he had dogged after her, warning her of the dangers of the male population, Sirius was one person James thought would be good for Violet. He wasn't quite sure what the particular reason was, but he got the feeling Sirius cared for Violet more than he let on. In the past years, when they had all been the best of friends, when Sirius wasn't as much of a womanizer, James had noticed that Sirius was subtly taking care of Violet in ways that no one else seemed to notice.

At first it was things like making sure Violet was at every meal and that she was eating sufficient amounts when she did eat. Then it slowly evolved into things like staying up with her whenever she pulled one of her all-nighters. James was usually the only one that managed to make it through the night with her, but he couldn't help but notice how hard Sirius would try to make it as late as he could.

It was things like this that made James slowly believe that Violet's love for Sirius might not be totally unrequited.

As James and Violet neared closer towards the back of the library, James noticed, with a small smirk, that Violet's hair patting had become slightly more frantic. As they walked, James reached towards her and pulled her hand back down to her side. He then reached up and smoothed down the part of hair she had been so frantically tugging at a moment before. She looked up at him, a bit panicked, and James shot her a slightly amused reassuring look.

He had no idea why she was being so panicked. Her and Sirius did this everyday, he couldn't see any reason to be so nervous. James almost felt sorry for Violet at times. She had such a Sirius complex that she was almost always reduced to a trembling mess every time she had to face him. Clearly the amount of time they spent together had changed nothing.

James turned the corner around the last bookshelf blocking their view from Sirius, with Violet still a little behind him frantically trying to smooth her hair as a last ditch effort, and quite nearly tripped and fell on his nose from shock. Perhaps if he had been a bit more quick in reacting he could have prevented the majority of the tears, but he could only stand rooted to the ground and watch as Sirius and Marlene McKinnon sucked faces right in front of him and Violet turned the corner to first hand witness the horror taking place in front of her.

For a moment, it was as though neither James nor Violet could take a breath, all motor capability escaping them, but all of a sudden James felt Violet shudder violently beside him and nearly trip over her own feet turning around and sprinting back the way they had come. James stared after her over his shoulder for a moment, his feet still stuck to the ground, before turning his head back slowly towards the treachery in front of him.

Sirius and Marlene had presumably noticed the blur of movement and had hurriedly separated themselves. Marlene was now standing in front of the table and Sirius had moved back behind the table, as if attempting to shield himself from James's dumbfounded gaze. The three of them stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity as James's mind whirled, trying to gain some sense of what was even going on.

It was as if he was trapped in some sort of surreal existence and he was floating in some sort of white universe that had no noise. This wasn't supposed to happen. James had thought that Sirius was, for once, changing his ways. He had thought for so long that Sirius had finally decided that all his trysts in shadowy corridors and broom closets were finally over. Bloody hell, this wasn't supposed to happen!

Slowly, James became aware of Sirius trying to get his attention. "James... James... James, come on talk to me." Exhaling irritably, James pinched the bridge of his nose, trying not to lose his patience and therefore get thrown out of the library. In a voice that was hopefully at an appropriate volume James began approaching Sirius.

"I don't really understand." began James. "I just don't get it. Were you aware of what you were doing? Or was this another one of your 'momentary lapses of rationality'? I thought we were done with those after you turned 14." Sirius began stammering some nonsense, but James was not having any of it. "You do realize that you were cheating right? On Violet? Who just so happens to be one of your best friends? Or did you forget that, along with your eyes?" James ended his last sentence with a withering look towards Marlene, who only shot him a defiant glare back.

This one served to anger James even more, and to his regret, his voice began rising. If it had been up to him, he would have kept his voice down in order to continue bitching Sirius out, but his anger was no longer under his control. After seeing Violet run away and watching Sirius's less than satisfactory level of regret, something had snapped inside of James, and he decided he was sick of taking Sirius's shit.

"What were you thinking? Or were you even thinking at all? Actually, don't answer that, I already know the answer. Of course you weren't thinking, you only think with what's in your pants! You always do this Sirius! I can't believe that I thought something was changing and for once you were going to be a good person! And especially because this time it was Violet who was at stake! This time you genuinely hurt someone who wholeheartedly trusted in you! Someone who thought you could do no wrong!"

Out of the corner of his eye, James spotted Madam Pince marching down the aisle way towards the horrific noise James was now creating. But there was no stopping him. He was going to go out screaming. "I hope you remember this for a long time Sirius! The day you lost two of your best friends! Or were we ever your friends at all? I wouldn't know because apparently you weren't the person I thought you were!" James knew he sounded distinctly like a hysterical female, but there was no controlling his mouth anymore. His best friend, the one who he thought he knew through and through, had effectively ruined all trust James ever had in him.

As Madam Pince reached them and began screaming at them for creating such a ruckus, James only had eyes for Sirius, who was staring right back at him, his eyes begging for forgiveness. While James wanted to turn his nose up and walk away with some of his dignity, there was one last thing he needed to do. Something that Sirius had deserved for many years now.

For Violet he thought to himself.

So a few moments later, Madam Pince had James's ear clutched in her hand and was dragging him out of the library, while Sirius howled in pain on the floor clutching his more than likely broken nose. As James stumbled after Madam Pince, he clenched his throbbing fist and tried to bring himself to smile in satisfaction. But no matter how he tried, he could find no joy in the situation.


End file.
